I'm sitting here at work, with a second to sort of think (which when you have an 18 month old you don't often get). I started by daydreaming about what I "hope" or feel more inclined to have the sex of this baby be...I guess I was actually day dreaming about what it would be like with either sex. From there I started thinking about what it is like to see your husband in your child. My friend Ellen and I go back and forth about if there is a different way to love your son and daughter and I absolutely think there is. I know that when we have a daughter, or if this particular babe is a girl I will have a new and different kind of love for her, but looking at my little boy and seeing in him the man I love and adore the most is nothing short of perfect. To watch the two of them play around, fix things, and be buddies is insane. This morning I got home from work only to walk in on Colin spooning Archer in our bed...it was close to one of the sweetest sights. The two of them are buddies and I am so excited for their future together (and for me to get a sweet bond with a little girl). Oh yes, tonight right before I had to leave for work Colin left with Archer to rent a movie. Minutes later I was driving down the road towards work when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a tall blond guy with an adorable baby on his shoulders...SWEET!!!
Now the attraction between Colin and Archer wasn't immediate....we have talked about this several times and I think Colin was at a pretty rough time in his life in general (trying to figure out what the heck he was going to do while working a job he didn't really like...and having a babe). When Archer got here I think Colin had some pretty strong thoughts on how attached he would feel from the start...and he was fairly disapointed. From an exhausting 32 labor...to a babe that wanted to nurse pretty much nonstop, there wasn't much fun in having Archer around. (I hope Colin doesn't mind me sharing this...). It didn't take long though, Colin says 4 months, until Colin started to see bits of how glorious being a dad was turning out to be! LONG STORY SHORT...today Archer was throwing a fit...a very, very, very long and very, very, very loud fit. I had a moment where I looked at Colin and thought...this must wear him out! I consider myself to be pretty darn patient and at this point I wanted to lock Archer in the garage and take a nap...but Colin hoisted that sweet little screaming angry boy up on his shoulders and said, "he needs a walk outside with his dada" and off the two of them went, Archer instantly putting his tears away. COLIN IS SUCH AN AMAZING MAN/HUSBAND/DAD.
I feel like this blog has been all over the place...it might have something to do with the fact that I am beyond exhausted...somehow 4 hours of sleep today after working overnight last night and now working tonight just wasn't enough. I am tired and debating a cup of coffee...and simply have tons on my mind. Mostly...I really love my life and I am really thankful for all of the blessings I have received. I live and get to be with the two most amazing men all of the time!
Ps. Colin leaves in about a week to go to Utah until the first weekend in May. Anyone who reads this and wants to spend a night/morning at my house anytime in April...PLEASE FEEL FREE! I rely so heavily on Colin for so many things and this next month is going to be a rude wake up call I'm afraid!!
Ok, I must end this madness...I have no idea what I am typing at this point...
-Love the sleep deprived mama
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